Our first year of Grad school in Tennesee
A couple months back we went to a dinner party at a faculty member's house. We were suppose to be celebrating a PhD defense, but it got postponed, so we were just there having a potluck. Anyway, while standing there making small talk and listening to my kids playful screams filter in from the backyard, I picked up on the conversation next to me when I heard, "I just can't imagine having kids right now" - 0r something to that extent. A small smile crossed my lips and I looked over to see a few ladies talking and sipping their wine.
It seems to me that at these moments the world comes into sharp focus for me. The stark contrast between my life and other people's lives is so glaringly obvious in my mind. Truthfully, I've always been a bit self-conscious about my path in life, but over the years I've learned to take a deep breath and enter into these conversations so I can at least tell people why my life is great.
Well, I poured myself a glass of wine and inserted myself into the conversation. It was lighthearted and goodnatured and, honestly, I don't remember what was said. Truth be told, I've had this conversation more times than I can count and they all run together in my memory.
What I do know is life is different for everyone. I've known many, many women who a young moms, staying at home with their kids, while their partners work toward their masters degree or PhD. I've known women who hold full time jobs while their partners are in school and wouldn't dream of having kids. I've known woman who have had babies right smack in the middle of their grad school years and didn't miss a beat.
Personally, I'm so thankful that we had our kids when we did. Sure, sometimes Clay works long hours and money is always tight and I don't get to do everything I want to do whenever I want to do it. But, that was the choice Clay and I made, together. We're both committed to that choice now, and I would never want to change it. It works for us and that's the important part.
Everyone does is differently. And there's no right or wrong way to go about having a family. There's no 5 year plan. There's no more financially stable time. There's only a sense of readiness that exists within yourself and when that time comes, you'll know it.
It seems to me that at these moments the world comes into sharp focus for me. The stark contrast between my life and other people's lives is so glaringly obvious in my mind. Truthfully, I've always been a bit self-conscious about my path in life, but over the years I've learned to take a deep breath and enter into these conversations so I can at least tell people why my life is great.
Well, I poured myself a glass of wine and inserted myself into the conversation. It was lighthearted and goodnatured and, honestly, I don't remember what was said. Truth be told, I've had this conversation more times than I can count and they all run together in my memory.
What I do know is life is different for everyone. I've known many, many women who a young moms, staying at home with their kids, while their partners work toward their masters degree or PhD. I've known women who hold full time jobs while their partners are in school and wouldn't dream of having kids. I've known woman who have had babies right smack in the middle of their grad school years and didn't miss a beat.
Personally, I'm so thankful that we had our kids when we did. Sure, sometimes Clay works long hours and money is always tight and I don't get to do everything I want to do whenever I want to do it. But, that was the choice Clay and I made, together. We're both committed to that choice now, and I would never want to change it. It works for us and that's the important part.
Everyone does is differently. And there's no right or wrong way to go about having a family. There's no 5 year plan. There's no more financially stable time. There's only a sense of readiness that exists within yourself and when that time comes, you'll know it.
The weekend of graduation and the end of our Grad school journey
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