Why is it that you have to go to school for 4+ years to get a PhD, but there's is absolutely no formal education to go through before you become a parent?
I've asked myself this question countless times since becoming a parent, usually when I'm at the end of my patience, when I can't make heads-or-tails of some situation, when my kids do something that stuns me into silence and I have absolutely no control over any of it. Needless to say, that question comes up often, floating to the front of my mind when I'm feeling my most inept.
Then, just as quickly, the answer presents itself - in the form of my children. You don't have to be a genius to realize that they are completely different people...despite having the same genes encoded in their bodies, despite being raised in the same environment by the same people...they are so dissimilar it's almost mind-boggling. And thinking about that helps me to remember that for every parent out there, no matter how many kids you have, each time is like the first time. Sure, the second child is easier because you know what to expect. The first child clued you into the fact there's a rhyme and reason to this parenting thing, but the rhyme is always different, the reason always changing.
The truth is that parenting is only something you can learn to do by doing it.
It can be messy and unpleasant. It can be downright painful. And there are (many) moments when you won't get it right. But, I think, being honest with yourself - and your kids for that matter - about how difficult it is and how unprepared you are sometimes is the most important part. It allows you to move forward, unafraid, because you realize that there are no right or wrong answers. It allows you to be more open to experiencing life and all the good and bad that comes with it.
So, for all you parents out there that find yourselves wondering when the next class on parenting is, don't worry. You've earned your degree several times over by now. Just slap a couple periods in between those letters that spell out M.O.M. or D.A.D. and call it good.
I've asked myself this question countless times since becoming a parent, usually when I'm at the end of my patience, when I can't make heads-or-tails of some situation, when my kids do something that stuns me into silence and I have absolutely no control over any of it. Needless to say, that question comes up often, floating to the front of my mind when I'm feeling my most inept.
Then, just as quickly, the answer presents itself - in the form of my children. You don't have to be a genius to realize that they are completely different people...despite having the same genes encoded in their bodies, despite being raised in the same environment by the same people...they are so dissimilar it's almost mind-boggling. And thinking about that helps me to remember that for every parent out there, no matter how many kids you have, each time is like the first time. Sure, the second child is easier because you know what to expect. The first child clued you into the fact there's a rhyme and reason to this parenting thing, but the rhyme is always different, the reason always changing.
The truth is that parenting is only something you can learn to do by doing it.
It can be messy and unpleasant. It can be downright painful. And there are (many) moments when you won't get it right. But, I think, being honest with yourself - and your kids for that matter - about how difficult it is and how unprepared you are sometimes is the most important part. It allows you to move forward, unafraid, because you realize that there are no right or wrong answers. It allows you to be more open to experiencing life and all the good and bad that comes with it.
So, for all you parents out there that find yourselves wondering when the next class on parenting is, don't worry. You've earned your degree several times over by now. Just slap a couple periods in between those letters that spell out M.O.M. or D.A.D. and call it good.
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