So I had an idea while we were in Michigan about how to make this blog more about understanding academic life. I thought it would be cool to interview academic spouses to get a sense of what they do and how they cope with being married to an academic. That way any academic spouses that read this blog will hopefully realize they are not alone! It's meant to be fun and thoughtful and provide a little bit of perspective on an academic spouse's lifestyle. I'll be sending out the questions to the people I know in the hopes that they will be willing to share a little of their own adventure. If you're an academic spouse and you'd like to share you story, contact me through the link under my photo on the right and I'll get back to you ASAP. Or if there's a certain question you would like to see answered, please let me know. Here my snapshot... Name: Samantha Number of Years Married: 9 Number of Children: 2 Places We Have Lived:Knoxville, TN (University of Tennessee) Ann Arbor, MI (University of Michigan) Kingston, Ontario (Queen's University) My Current Occupation: Stay-at-Home-Mom What I do with My Time:I'm in charge of running the house, herding our kids and taking care of all the things that have to get done in order for us to function on a day-to-day basis. When I'm not doing that (which isn't often) you can usually find me running around with our kids, doing stuff for our kids' school, playing with rocks, or working on some project that may or may not get finished any time soon. My Spouse's Academic Field: Evolutionary Biology & Ecology My Spouse's Current Occupation: Postdoctoral Fellow @ Queen's Univesity The Best Part of being Married to an Academic:Right now my husband's schedule is pretty flexible, so he's able to be around when I need him or when he wants to be. It's really nice that he has a job that allows him a bit of freedom. The Worst Part of being Married to an Academic:When Clay brings his laptop to bed. On those nights I know he'll be working into the early hours of the morning and that usually means he'll be dis-functional when the alarm goes off. Thankfully, I learned how to sleep with the lights on years ago. What I'm Looking Forward To: Clay getting hired as a professor somewhere and settling our family down...finally. Our kids are older now and it's hard to move them away from their friends. They've been great about it so far, but I'm really looking forward to that job that allows us to stay in one place (hopefully) so we can lay down some roots.
Any Advice for Academic Families:
Decide what things are important to you as a couple or a family (date nights, family outings, picnics at the park, etc.) and work to make those things happen. Academics are notorious for letting things pile up. But if you set some goals and stay on top of it, you'll be able to fit those important things into your life without any problems.
For the past couple months I have been helping Clay out in the lab transferring his Daphnia, maintaining his french jars - things no rational wife would ever do. I do it to be helpful. I do it to ensure that he gets time to do his other work as well. I do it to make sure he comes home for dinner.
Anyway, you might remember that a while back I got sucked into the whole scientific process when I noticed our Daphnia started producing resting eggs. I was amazed that such a tiny little creature could do such complicated things and that's when my brain started turning over the idea of running my own little experiment.
Well, the experiment is off and running. Someday I'll explain it all, but not today. The main point I need to make for this post is that in order to make my experiment work, I need male Daphnia. And for the past few weeks I've been working toward getting my little ladies to spawn some boys.
So, you can imagine my surprise when the other day I realized that Clay already had some fully grown male Daphnia....by accident. I was transferring the Daphnia when I came across a few that have been baffling me. They weren't growing as big as the others and they weren't producing eggs. It has been confusing me for weeks to be honest. And then I had an "A-Ha" moment. Everything clicked into place and I realized that those baffling Daphnia were in fact male which is why they weren't having babies.
I had kept them by accident, no knowing they were male, because I needed to replace some of the older females. To be sure, I checked them out under a scope and sure enough....we have boys!  Male Daphnia Here's a picture of a female just for comparison.  Female Daphnia The difference between the two is probably only apparent to people who study Daphnia - or if you're me - people who have stared at them many a time. The males have a flat face, hairy chest and look like they're smoking a cigar. Typical male, huh?
Anyway, to make this long story shorter my experiment is officially in full swing. I'll keep you posted on how it's going.
Today's lesson?
Accidental science is still a victory!
So yesterday I took Cole to help out with a research project in the psychology department. *For any concerned individuals- he volunteered. I didn't force him into it.
They put this crazy cap on him so they could measure his brain activity while he was watching something on a computer.
Is that hat awesome or what? It looks like he has a giant electronic squid sitting on top of his head. It even left little red dots on his skin when they took it off like he had suckers stuck to him.
It was lots of fun for me to watch and Cole did a great job. It's always hard to know how well kids will tolerate research experiments, so I was really impressed with how patient he was with the whole process. It took a while to get the cap on just right.
You may be wondering why I let my kids volunteer for research. The answer is simply this....I understand the hard work that goes into the whole academic process. Clay never did any type of experiments that utilized human subjects, but I kind of feel like we're paying back all of the help he got during his PhD program. Besides, it makes the kids feel like they're a part of something special and that alone makes it worthwhile.
I'm not really the delusional type.
I've never really felt the need to make the world prettier than it actually is. So, despite hanging out in the lab with Clay 3 times a week, I've never considered myself a scientist because I'm not. I might be able to lay claim to being an artist because my bachelor degree is in studio art. And certainly I could claim that I am a super-mom. But the closest I come to ever saying I'm a scientist is by saying that I married one.
So imagine my surprise when I found myself reading a scientific paper the other day in order to try and wrap my head around some ideas I've been having about an experiment. Let me back up a moment and show you this. This here is a Daphnia. These are the little critters that Clay works with and I by association also work with. Three 3 times a week I feed them, transfer them, and jot down any significant insights I have. This one happens to be sick. We've been infecting them with some parasites. Nice of us, huh?
Anyway, she's all well and good, but not quite enough to inspire me to take on a scientific experiment. This here is what has got me all in a tizzy. This here is a beautiful little lady Daphnia that is carrying resting eggs. Isn't she lovely? Imagine my surprise as I was going through my daily routine and found her, a black sack of eggs stuck smack dab where a clutch of pretty pink eggs should normally be. I can't quite explain it, but I am fascinated by the idea of resting eggs. I am amazed that a creature so small would have the ability to have both a live birth if conditions were right or create resting eggs that can survive safely in their pouch until there is a better time to hatch.
It was quite a moment for me. I finally understand why Clay walked the long road of grad school to satisfy his curiosity about the world. My mind has been working on some ideas for my own experiments involving these fascinating little creatures. I guess now I'm not just a minion. I am officially becoming involved.
Lord help us.
To be a experimental biologist you often need an army of minions. Minions help to lessen the amount of work the scientist supreme does.
Well, if you don't have grant money to hire an army of minions you take what you can get. You know, some families spend their weekends together skiing or taking in a movie. Our family is so hardcore....we do science together.
Isabel helped to fill all the jars you see sitting before Cole. Cole is transferring two different types of Daphnia and I'm transferring infected Daphnia while taking various notes.
Aren't we the most fun parents?
Minions unite!
We're a close-knit family. Now, I'll be the first to admit that it's difficult to credit our life in academia as responsible for our tight little family. Personally, I would like to think we would be close no matter what we chose to do in life. But, I can't deny that academics has played its role.
For one, our life in academia has taken us places (like Tennessee, Ann Arbor, & Canada) where the only people we know at first are each other. Those first few months after a move are spent clinging to the familiar...which is each other...as we get our bearings and begin to make new friends.
In turn, moving to a new place inspires our desire to explore. We know that our time in any one place can be short lived, so we take advantage of lots of attractions that local people have never seen...because they just never get around to exploring their hometown.
Also, lucky for us, university towns are vibrant places to live, full of cultural opportunities. Whether it's football, museums, music, or history, university towns have plenty of things to keep us busy.
So, while I can't fully credit our close-knit family to our life in academics (I hope we have something to do with it). I certainly can't deny the opportunities it has given us to be together as a family.
With the start of 2012, I've been thinking a lot about the fact that my sweet girl will be going to school full time in the fall. She'll be in first grade. I'll have to pack her a lunch. And I'll no longer need to pick her up in the middle of the day and bring her home to spend the afternoon with me. It's still a long way off. But, in all honesty, I'm sentimental about these sort of things and the thought of afternoons alone has my stomach feeling a bit wonky. It will be the first time in nine and a half years that I'll been without a child at my side for a majority of the day. The prospect is all at once magical, surreal, and daunting. I mean, what am I suppose to do with myself? Sure, there will still be laundry and groceries. There will still be packing lunches and cooking dinner. But, what about the moments when those chores are done? Logically, I could look for a part-time job. But, what job will accommodate a 9:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. schedule? What job would understand that I couldn't come into work if one of my kids is sick? What part-time job would allow me to not work on weekends? What job would allow for me to still be a full-time mom when I'm needed? Does this magical job exist? I haven't found it yet. My solution? Volunteering. It's a great way to use my spare time in meaningful ways and I'll get to choose what times work best for me.
I've decided to start in Clay's lab. Yep, you heard me right. I'm going to start spending a couple hours a week helping out in the lab. It's a great place to start because I know the people and they understand my situation (so it will be no surprise if I can't come in one day because of sick children). I'll learn some good skills to add to my bag of tricks (like transferring Daphnia!) and, in the end, I'll have people to stand as a recommendation for me if I ever do find that magical job.
What do you think? Can you picture me in a lab coat?
What about the rest of you? Many of you academic spouses will eventually move into a time where the kids are gone to school full-time, if you're not there already. What will you do with your time then? Enjoy the peace? Get a job? Sleep more?
As an academic wife, there are moments when I am painfully aware of my lack of higher education. I've written before about the glazed over look some academics get in their eyes when I tell them I'm a stay at home mom. Being a non-academic, I always figured that their glassy look came from the fact that I didn't have any capitalized letters after my name. Much to my chagrin, I learned the other day that it may have more to do with the fact that I'm a woman.
We were at a dinner party a few weeks back when I joined in a conversation already in progress. I sat and listened as a female professor spun a tale of her decade long crusade to infiltrate an all male, exclusive group of professors within her department.
My initial reaction was one of my practiced exasperated sighs and a roll of my eyes (usually reserved for Clay when he exercises his lack of common sense). I thought, "How typical of men to create themselves an exclusive club." And I couldn't help but think she should consider herself lucky not to be invited to such testosterone driven shindigs. Sorry, I know that's really sexist on my part. Don't worry the irony of me being sexist in this situation isn't lost on me.
Anyway, as her story continued, it became more clear how completely upset she was by the whole ordeal. This "club" wasn't just about some friends getting together and having a beer. The men in this group are consciously choosing to not include women. Let me be more clear. Women, their female colleagues, are not welcome at the table when they get together outside of work. And those male-exclusive moments are having an impact on the department.
Needless to say, my original eye-roll turned into bugs eyes as I listened in disbelief. If some of the more intelligent people (those with PhDs) on the planet are still practicing sexism, what hope is there for the rest of the world? How do we pass on a better world to our children when there are professors out there that exercise this kind of behavior?
I'm sorry but it's 2011, didn't you get the memo?
*In light of this and my own shortcomings when it comes to sexism, I'll certainly be holding myself more accountable. I want to be part of the solution, not the problem.
I love the Holidays. It's easily my favorite time of year. In fact, I love the Holidays so much, I'm one of those obnoxious people that starts listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. This year it's a forgivable quality since Thanksgiving has already come and gone here in Canada.
Anyway, the unfortunate part about the Holidays is trying to divide our time amongst family. I love being with all my family during Christmas time so if I had my way, I would see everyone. Usually there's a lot of guilt involved (on my part) as we decide which family to visit and how long to stay, but it all works out in the end.
Well, this year we've hit a bump in our Christmas planning. This year is the first time academic life has come into play. Usually we just revel in the two week vacation from school and university, but this year there are parasites to take care of, vacation days, travel expenses and time, and a half a dozen other things to consider. I'm getting an eye twitch just talking about it. So, right now we're stuck.
I, honestly, can't imagine not going home for Christmas. But I'm afraid there are a lot more things to consider this year than our relaxed graduate school days. We've entered into the "real world" of academia, beyond student life, and now it's time to face the facts. We're not kids anymore and we've got to make these decisions no matter how guilty we feel. Sigh.
How about the rest of you academics? How do you decide where to go for the holidays? I know lots of you live far from home. Where will you be this year?
So, Clay's lab has been in charge of the seminar series this semester for their department - which has led everyone in the lab to decide they want me to adopt them. You see, I've been making a lot of the baked goodies for the weekly seminar that entice people to go to see the speaker in the first place. They go for the food and stay for the talk which proves that food can be a very compelling device.
The first week I had tons of apples around so I made apple bars and oatmeal applesauce cookies. Next, I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookie bars. All were good, so I'm told, but none were too exciting. So, I decided to branch out and go for a savory option by making cheddar biscuits. I guess they were amazing, so now I'm wondering how I'm going to top that.
It's kind of fun being the lab soccer mom. I like feeding people. It's such a tangible way to serve people since everyone needs to eat. It has been good for my soul...and my baking skills. Sure, it will be a nice break when the semester is over and some other lab take over the seminar series. But, I imagine I'll probably still send baked goodies to the lab every once in a while. After all, what kind of soccer mom would I be if I didn't?
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